Born on 4/16/2010
What's that you say? You don't have a DeluxeComfort.com Girlfriend Body Pillow yet? Well then you will be pleased to learn that it is currently on sale at Sears for less than a sawbuck! An amazing deal for something that "has an extension that replicates the soft arm of your partner and also adds a breast-like sensation on the pillow, giving all the contour of your love one [sic]."
It should also be noted that "Your days of uncomfortable nights are over." Well, that is until the first time somebody discovers this thing tucked underneath your sheets because a) this is super creepy and b) this is super creepy.
I mean, it's not just that it's a partly-dismembered faux-girlfriend, or that it's missing what are, frankly, the most important parts of a faux-girlfriend. No no, it's more the single yellow glove and weirdly shaped "breast-like sensations" that creep me out. I feel like this is something that would be found in a closet in Hannibal Lecter's house. But, more power to you Sears/deluxecomfort.com — I hope you sell a million of them. The cannibal market is underserved, after all.