From: Dirk Johnson, VP Marketing
To: All BevMo marketing staff
Re: promotional emails
Effective immediately, all employees in the communications and marketing departments will be issued a 16GB iPad for business use. All email blasts and other public-facing communications are to be checked for appropriate subject line cropping and other anomalies on this platform before being sent to customers.
In addition, whoever it was that left that message on my voicemail saying you had 60 seconds free: that's not funny and sexual harassment is no laughing matter. And also I am free but you forgot to leave your name.