sit Ubu, sit
Ok, I've about had it with this dog. First it was the constant raiding of my refrigerator, then it was the smoking of all my fine cigars and drinking of my good tequila. I suppose I could tolerate that and chalk it up to "boys being boys". But this email in my inbox1 today is the last straw.

I will not stand idly by while my dog tries to market erectile disfunction medication to me using my own bandwidth. When he gets a job and starts paying for his own DSL he can do whatever the hell he wants, but as long as he's living under my roof I'm not going to stand for that shit. Consider this your final warning, dog!

1And by inbox I really mean "Spam folder", but that kind of ruins the joke.