Biographies for fun and profit
There are a few phrases that you probably don't want to to have start off your biography — "he was a convicted horse rapist", "she once held the world's record for longest continuous fart", "the odor of his beard was reputed to have once killed a small mammal from several paces" — but notwithstanding the undesirability of any of these, I think I just came across one that might be worse:
Only two memories brought tears to Sun Yaoting's eyes in old age -- the day his father cut off his genitals, and the day his family threw away the pickled remains…

Good times in China, yes? I'll spare you from having to read the entire article by noting that, to the best of my knowledge, he was neither a horse rapist, nor did he hold a farting record, so some small comfort, at least. Also, as far as I can tell, he did not have a beard, so the hobo power value of his whiskers is so far indeterminate.